Here are some serious reasons why you should never, ever think to take a vacation in Maui.
Why would you want to go to an exotic island in the pacific when you can stay on your couch in your living room doing the same old, same old? Old reruns on TV are pretty riveting. And, who can resist the thought of watching a rerun of Friends again, right from the very first season.
Who wants to get on a plane just to end up in the middle of nowhere? Plus, a Hawaiian vacation will get you outside where you’re bound to be active. Why would anyone want that?
If you’re not convinced your next vacation should be spent in your living room, preferably cooking or cleaning out the garage, then here are some other excellent reasons your next vacation should not be a trip to Maui.
1. You will get a flip flop tan. How inconvenient! That Y shaped strip of white skin on the top of your foot proves you’ve been off having fun in the sun. People might not take you seriously.
2. You May Quit Your Job. Aren’t you happy complaining about your boring job and annoying boss? Why would you want to go to paradise and risk being inspired to change your life? Better to stick with the stressful commute and traffic jams. There’s only another decade or two before retirement anyway.
3. All of your future vacations will be Hawaiian vacations. Once you visit the islands, you will want to travel to places with beaches and sun and surf. Why would you want to pack a bikini or swim trunks when you can just as easily force a rain coat, umbrella, and thermal underwear into your carry on? Spending the rest of your life in tropical locations sounds really grim. Too much sparkling blue water and calming sand. Give me smog, clouds, and crowds any day.
4. You will make new friends. Who has time for new friends? Especially ones with similar interests. What a drag it is to have to email Christmas and birthday cards to more people. Imagine having a new set of friends who like to go to the same places as you do for vacation.
5. You might develop a new interest. Isn’t your day already full enough with cooking and cleaning? Don’t you have gutters to clean or landscaping to do? Skilled professionals are not meant to be self indulgent creatures with their very own hobbies. You might get inspired to do other things outside the home.
6. You might get in shape. Lose weight? What a horrible thought! Getting toned muscles and a slimmer physique is certainly not on the agenda. A vacation in Maui could mean snorkeling, swimming, hiking, biking or even surfing. Yes, taking a surf lesson on Maui sounds like a whole lot of exercise. Doesn’t vacuuming and mowing the lawn help with flabby arms?
7. You will never look at grocery store produce the same way. Once you’ve tasted a ripe locally grown papaya, you’ll never looked at the yellow pear-shaped fruit the same way again. Bananas will never taste as sweet and avocados won’t be as creamy. A fruit salad won’t seem complete without dragonfruit and lychees.
8. Your inner child will shine. You won’t be able to resist the call to play. The waves will inevitably force you to grab a boogie board or surfboard. There will be sand in places you have long since forgotten about. You’ll catch your hips swaying to the Hawaiian music and could end up in a grass skirt or even a coconut bra. Now wouldn’t that make a great Instragram post!
9. You might catch the Hawaiian Bug. With all that Aloha spirit floating around, you’re bound to catch the Hawaiian bug. Symptoms include hula dancing, lei making, and peculiar speech. If you catch yourself using word like “Mahalo” and “pau hana”, head to your nearest luau right away.
10. You’ll go crazy with all that peace and quiet. Getting a Hawaiian massage on the beach means quiet time for yourself. Sounds pretty boring, right? And when it comes time to fall asleep, the sound of actual waves crashing and whales calling will pale in comparison to your noise machine.
11. You may never want to go home. What would you do if you fell in love with Maui? You’d be stuck day dreaming about it at your desk. The need to be self indulgent while getting a massage or walk the beach at sunset with a loved one is certainly not important. Why would you go to an island paradise for all those things when you can easily maintain your same daily routine? Why would you want to take a break? Especially on a vacation involving wellness, culture, and adventures.
You can see how disastrous a vacation in Maui can be for your well-being. Taking surf lessons, receiving a massage, going snorkeling on Maui or practicing yoga daily can be a bit much. Stay at home and catch up on your to do list. Leave the tropical vacations for someone else. The palm trees are not beckoning you, that’s your boss calling. Are you going to answer?
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Hope you all got a laugh out of it. But really, Maui is AMAZING!
…a flip flop tan, and never being cold. People’s smiles are warm and embracing. As a friend mentioned, “have you heard anyone swear in the last 3 days since we arrived?”
Oh, dear! I’m terrified of visiting. I might spend the rest of my life being unhappy! I live in New Zealand but miss the warmth of having lived in Malawi, Africa. Maui would replace it beautifully! 🙂
You forgot to mention that it takes your soul, changes your daily thoughts, gives you this passion for life that you never had before and makes you wine like a five year old when you get on the plane to go home. LOL. Maui stole my heart in 2003, my first visit, not my last. All things you say are true and the thing is, you can’t explain how this happens, but you only know you don’t want it to stop. I think I will log on to Kayak now and look for Air fair. LOL Charles (Kimo) Adams
Oh Charles! Your comment totally made me smile. Maui does indeed change the way you look at the world. Enjoy your next trip out this way. – Danielle
I so agree Charles. Once you go, nothing’s the same. We’ve made it our retirement goal…at least 6 months a year MUST be spent in Hawaii.
It’s hard to put into words how Maui makes you feel; after my first trip in 2001, I’ve visited five more times. And after reading these other comments, I keep saying “I know what you mean, I know what you mean!!! When I walk outside the airport, I feel like I’m at home!! Love me some MAUI.
We visited Maui for the first time in March 2013 to celebrate a close friends 50th birthday, loved it. Loved it like no other “vacation place” we had ever been. Lost my mom that August so decided Maui was where we wanted to spend Christmas, Christmas was going to happen whether I wanted it to or not, so we thought why not a “different Christmas” and booked a trip to Maui with our two children. There was something about Maui that somehow made me feel close to my Mom, we put an offer in on a condo in Kihei when we got back home. Closed in Feb 2014. Just lost my dad this past weekend. As an only child I feel like I’ve no longer got ties (or responsibilities) here on the mainland. So my husband and our two grown children will begin our forever home search on our next visit in October. I have this sense of “coming home”. Can’t explain it….but there are many who understand what I’m saying.
Couldn’t have said it better! Just got back from 3 weeks on Maui and I did literally cry when I had to go home. Been going since 1985 and can’t get enough. Counting the days till next trip and till the day we have the stones to chuck it all and stay there for good.
Yeah sure, write this article now. We vacationed in Maui in 2011 and 2013. We’re going back in May of 2015, except this will be more of a scouting trip than a vacation. My wife and I have decided to move to Maui after I retire in 2016.
Maui is a blissful place to retire Mike. 2016 will be here before you know it!
Moved here 12 years ago and never looked back. Maui is No Ka Oi. Be prepared, however… Maui is not for everybody. The sacrifices are so worth the pay-off, but some people can’t handle the island fever, high prices, perpetual company, etc… that comes with living here. Also, be prepared to give back to the community, not tell them how you did it on the mainland, but to give your time to local causes if you want to live here. It makes a huge difference in everybody’s quality of life, including the giver’s. Hint: you will not get island fever if the water is an extension of the aina for you. If you see water as a barrier, this is not the place for you. Aloha Nui Loa….
Well said. Thank you for sharing. We are making a plan to move by 2023.
I agree with all of the above list and also Charles is dead on. My wife and I first visited Maui five years ago. We have been back after that trip twice with friends. This September we are coming for a month by ourselves. I would say there is not a day that goes by that I do not think about Maui but the truth is that an hour is closer to a true statement.
It’s infatuating, isn’t is Jamie?! I’ve heard many stories of people who came to Maui on vacation and never left. Do you know what part of the island you want to stay in during your September visit?
All is true!
I attempted to enjoy my first Maui vacations in 2004, and I became sick! I repeated 2008, 2010, and 2012, now I always dreaming how to come back again and again!
Is an addiction!
You poor woman! I think there are support groups for your sickness. haha!
All of this is so very true. My first Hawaii vacation was last year on Maui. It changed me. And I say aloha and mahalo a lot now! I’m now planning a Kauai trip for this September.
You’ll love Kaua’i. Each island has its own charm! ALOHA!
Visiting Maui 2 years ago was like arriving home!
The energy, the nature, the ocean and the rainbows
reminded me how blessed we are!
As a Brazilian Yoga teacher from a small and famous
fisherman village at Rio de Janeiro, I really felt at home!
15 days were not enough!
My dream now is to go back to Maui and work with
Practicing, teaching and sharing around the islands!
Namaste frim Brazil!
You should check out Paia Town, if you haven’t already. Home of the good vibes!
I’ve only ever been to Maui once, I was on the Big Island last November, Hawaii has ruined me because I don’t want to go anywhere else warm, particularly in winter, someone please hire me!!! Lol, my love of Maui is perminent, Mahalo
Haha! Yes, it’s a powerful draw for most people that visit. Most friends that come to visit us end up working out plans on moving here. Rarily do they actually move, but it’s a testament to this magical place!
Maui is a place, but it is also a feeling,
Something you can carry with you and keep in your heart.
It ruined me. My life will never be the same again… unless I go back. 😀
Well said! “Maui is a place, but also a feeling.” Sounds like you should begin planning your return trip 😉
I was there most recently in November. Felt like home. <3
Thanks for the great read. lol
Agreed. Glad it ruined you!
Oh man..back in 2006 I worked on the Pride of America for NcL America bouncing around the Hawaiian islands for 6 months, rotation ended, went home to Ohio and every day since I wish I’d gone back.
Didn’t know I’d leave my heart there…this year I’m busting my but in my nutrition company to help me pay for Maui’s School of Therapeutic Massage. I plan to be a well rounded health and wellness coach changing lives for a living! My dreams WILL come true with all the heart and passion that I have!
Oh just the CHANCE that Alison Teal might teach me how to surf and live off the land is enough of a dream to get me over there!
yeah the last 11 years have totally sucked!!!! especially when I have to go surf before work an den drive 15 minutes to everyday my job where I get to massage people having the times of their lives on vacation….I can’t get rid of these damn tan lines either!!!!
I went to Maui for my 30th birthday. Never again will my birthdays be the same. I spent a whole week doing dinner cruises, sitting at the beaches, Experiencing the Road to Hana, visiting the Aquarium and just walking up and down Front St. I am now going to be 32, what a shame my last birthday was and my 32nd birthday will be.
Once I am done with Med School, I would love to relocate there!!
Maui is beautiful and unique place we went there for 11 days in 2011, following year decided to explore Kauai which by far is my favorite place on the planet. It doesn’t get more quiet peaceful and laid back, hikes are gorgeous and Polihale state park beaches are unforgettable.
Next month Big Island can’t wait!!!
3 years ago my husband and I vacationed in Maui for our honeymoon and I cried when we had to come home I found peace there. I just feel in love …. Now we are returning on August 20th our 3 year wedding anniversary to find that peace and adventure we love and miss so much….
I was just in maui june 6-13. Was not long enough. This was second time there and yes I am considering moving there. All of the points you made were spot on and im hiping soon I will call it home. Mahalo.
I love it! This should be a series because I can think of many more you could add 🙂 Aloha Nui Loa
Yah, I think we’ll have to create a top 50 or something. Too much fun! Mahalo!
This is spot on. My sister went to Maui in 2001 to recuperate after taking care of my mother’s estate and ended up buying a condo in Kihei. Her daughter soon moved over and is still there. My daughter and her boyfriend went over in 2009 + 2010, He ended up running into childhood friends, which was helpful in finding employment. When my grandson was 18 months old they left Colorado and the snow & moved to Maui and had another baby 2 years ago. In November 2012 they tied the knot and I was able to spend 3 weeks with them, getting to know my grandchildren. This August I am heading over to help my daughter and to reacquaint myself with the children. this time I may stay through mid September. I went to Oahu in 1990 which was typical touristy, Maui in 2003 and then 2012. there has been too much time in between. I am so excited to get to see them again in paradise.
You’ll get bored and jaded with seeing rainbows every day.
It is obnoxious, true. We’re dying for some smog and grey skies. haha!
I did vacation here and ended up living here! All this is very true! Maui No Ka Oi!
And boy are we glad that you did! We love you guys! ALOHA!
Got the bug 13 years ago and go every year! No better place in the world to relax, play golf, and enjoy the local cuisine!
It sounds snobbish but… Unless you’ve been to Maui (or the other islands- I loved Molokai) you just don’t get it. Going to Maui in 1980 has forever jaded us to any where else. We come to Maui every other year and inbetween? I wish I was there!!
My husband and and i spent 12 days in kauai in may. I think it ruined me because i fell in love with there so much. I hate my state now lol. I would seriously move there if i could. I think about it every day. I do want to retire there some day. I hope i can talk my husband into it. We have along time till that happens though. I cant wait to go back there for another vacation.
I went to Maui for 10 days on vacation. It is a truly amazing place. the snorkeling, sea life, geography etc etc etc i could go on forever – truly incredible. Was only accosted by one Hawaiian who felt compelled to belittle my friends car and show me how he kept a jug of water in his to wash his feet all the while muttering all the things you hear Hawaiians say to no Hawaiians. Then blamed the entire mainland of USA for a dent in his car. I remembered to count to 10 and breath and then walked over to him and said – “I live in a beach town on the East Coast in Virginia and i hope if you ever come to visit us that people are nice to you.” Then i watched the sunset and it was awesome!
My husband and I had a bucket list, turn 40 and move to Maui. Well we did it celebrating one year this month and I can say we are blessed. Left the suit, tie and hills and made it happened, also to add our teenager which loves the Lahaina Luna High School. We make enough to pay the bills, but I can say it feels darn good to get off work and go to the beach and let go of any thoughts. I feel blessed and anyone can do it, you work in hospitality than you can make it here. Warmest Aloha!
I took my wife and kids on a 10 day vacation. I said we can go anywhere you want. Disneyland, Disneyworld? New York, Washington DC, Etc. They all googled and researched and the vote was Maui. Wow. Best vacation of my life. My most fun memory was driving my yellow rental jeep with the top off. A huge rain storm came rolling in. Then ten minutes later it was gone. By the time we got back from the store it was all dried out. When returning the car I told them and they laughed. Said everyone does it and gets worried the first time. Latina luva amazing
The other funny I remember was at sands of ahaina where we stayed they would sell me drive is in coconut souvenirs for an extra 7 bucks. The last day there the wife and I went to the local ABC store to look for souvenirs and they had the same coconuts for 1.99. ILl be back to see you Maui one day soon
I came to Maui for a three week vacation in 1980 and never left.
yeah, that nasty flip flop tan. (Trying to maintain it in depressing Ohio). Got back last month (our third trip) and I have to this is all spot on!
Moved to maui 5 years ago for a 6 month work contract. Ended up staying for 3 years. Moved back to Chicago and I think about Maui everyday. Finally, after years of missing the island and crying about it to anyone who would listen, I am moving back – end of September! I am so excited to finally come back to a place I found to call home. Maui no ka oi!
So true. Especially #3. First visited in 2004. Went back in 2005. And 2009. And 2011. And last year, and this year, and next year.
If I had discovered Maui when I was young, single and childless, I’m pretty sure I’d be living there right now.
Love maui so much. We’ve been vacationing there since the 90’s and knew that’s where we gonna retire. ..Just bought a house in Dec and getting it rented till we are ready to move in, hopefully by years end. Love the Kaanapali area and we r just 7 min to the beach. Awesome sunsets from our lanai…can’t wait to start retirement living. ..We’ve made so many friends there thru the years that they can’t wait till we move in for good. Dreams do come thru. .Aloha everyone.!!!
Maui is not just a vacation – it’s a way of life.
so blessed to visit twice yearly, see friends, family. maui no ka oi, especially nona lani cottages in kihei! it’s our little piece of heaven!
Maui, and all the other islands are beautiful. I’ve been to all except Lanai and Ni’ihau. There is only one little bitty problem. You better be semi-rich or just have a lot of money to enjoy the islands. Hotels are expensive, food is expensive, restaurants are expensive, flights are expensive, tours are expensive, rental cars are expensive, gas is expensive, *everything* is expensive!
Other than that, I guess they’re ok.
Eddie, leaving for our Kauai home on the 9th.
I agree with so many of these proclamations of how deeply Maui can sink into your soul. I too feel this sense of connection, inner peace, happiness, and like all is right with the world when I am there. Been to Kona and Kauai both prior to maui. One trip to Maui in 2009 brought us back in 2012, 2013 and you guessed it counting down until we go again this December. The appeal and allure can’t fully be explained til you experience it for yourself.
As a family we skimp in areas of our lifestyle here at home just so we can spend that precious 2 weeks there once a year.
It’s my time to reconnect and unplug. I truly think about Maui multiple times a day and dream of it weekly. Feel blessed to have our maui memories and look forward to many more! Hula girl at heart living in Alaska. 🙂
Yes, I cried at the airport because I didn’t want to leave. I miss the cows walking in the middle of the road and my really cool tour guide during the trip to haleakala. I miss just sitting in my lanai watching the ocean. I’ve only been home a week and am so ready to go back…Who knows, this could be a one way ticket!!
FIRST TRIP scheduled for September……………….counting the days!
#12 – Maui has become a toxic experimental zone unfit for humans thanks to big biotech and the open air testing of radical agricultural experiments! BE ADVISED!
Heather, we agree that there’s some nasty stuff going on by the biotech companies in Hawaii, but you really need to share more information than dropping a scary comment like that. Explain exactly what’s going on in your words.
Can I just say hat a comfort to discover a person that truly understands what they’re talking about on the internet.
You certainly know how to bring an issue to light and
make it important. A lot more people need to read this and understand this side
of your story. I was surprisd that you aren’t more popular
since you most certainly have the gift.
Great stuff. I found this article on a great Maui travel guide… check it out.
The virgin islands are still way better…. 😀